There were so many valuable things to take away from my time in India that I can’t help but share another major “AHA” moment – this one having to do with control. Our teacher, Thom Knoles dropped a couple of golden nuggets at one of our nightly knowledge talks on this topic that were total game changers for me. The below philosophies have been useful to me the moment I start trying to control things in life:
1. “Control is opposed to evolution”
2. “Nature/the universe controls, not our individuality”
3. “The less you control, the faster you evolve”
The general idea is that the universe/nature knows best and in an ideal state, our bodies are simply vehicles in which nature/the universe works through. So say you are passionate about baking and follow that passion and open up a bakery and it becomes super successful. That was nature working through you and you following your joy. Simple, easy, effortless. The best way to arrive at things.
So what happens when we try and take over and control everything? Contraction. It’s like we’re putting a leash on the universe and the universe is like hells no, I’m not delivering! It’s only going to take you longer to get to where you “think” you need to be. And then of course where you “think” you need to be isn’t even remotely close to the real and often better place the universe has planned for you.
So now when I catch myself…
…asking my wife to do something around the house a certain way rather than appreciating her getting it done at all
…following up with a client that hasn’t gotten back to us about a new project
…obsessively cleaning the house
This has taken 41 years to arrive at and begin to master. WTF!
Not to sound like a broken record harping on meditation, but yes, meditation is what helps me surrender. It calms me, makes me less tense and turns off my monkey mind (the main controller) so that any decisions or actions are coming from a much deeper place and there is no struggle in what direction to head in or what to do next. As a Capricorn (literally a goat climbing up a mountain), up until now, I have mostly been in the act of doing, hustling, making things happen and as my executive coach says – pushing the boulder up the hill; literally, EVERYTHING I shouldn’t be doing (but that of course makes sense to do – logically).
Living in New York City, the city of hustle, doesn’t help either. SO, if you can relate, go back to the three points above. Take a deep breath. LET GO. And watch closely to see what follows and what direction you’re guided into going, and then… GO!