This year has been all about being still and in doing so quieting my mental chatter, identifying societal constructs and personal stories that were subconsciously defining me and getting down to the true essence of- ME. As a result, I am finally coming around to redefine what success looks like.
For years, without realizing it (hello societal and family constructs!) success meant more zero’s in my bank account, owning a house, driving a nice car and owning an agency with 20+ people that was constantly growing. And while ain’t nothing wrong with all of that, it was defining what my world should look like based on beliefs that I had never been able to challenge and look closely at before. It was also stopping me from seeing all the abundance I already have in my life. In essence, it was a #FUCKNO.
With the help of Vishen Lakhiani’s book, “The Code of The Extraordinary Mind” I was able to clearly see the brule’s I was living by (brule = a bullshit rule, social construct, a pattern we’re all operating in like- university education is absolutely necessary to have a decent career or 9 to 5 is how work should be). As a result, my idea of success was tied to becoming a millionaire, being publicly recognized for our design work and growing my agency. All things, which have not happened-yet.
With the help of my best friend/coach/soul sister/healer Hasani Reyes who always lifts me up when I’m down and beating myself up (which happens more than I care to admit), I was able to realize everything I have accomplished and all the good that is happening in my life. As a result, I was able to start redefining what success TRULY looks like for me.
This year I began to define success as the following: ability to travel, making enough money to live a comfortable life, not being busy every single day so I have time to reflect, exercise, take classes, pursue knowledge and practice white space thinking, having work life balance, spending time with family and friends and not feeling stressed and anxious all the time. In essence, I’m realizing success means living a very fucking simple life. The ordinary becomes extraordinary and it has nothing to do with material accumulation.
And while a couple more zero’s in the bank account, my dream of owning a Land Rover, buying my wife all the diamond’s she wants and taking my mom to Chanel for a shopping spree are all things I want, it’s not what I define as success or happiness any more. It’s definitely there. And I certainly have a preference for it, but there is no attachment. Why? Because I’m happy. I’m fulfilled. And when you’re happy and fulfilled you are good with what you have. You don’t need “more” of anything. And that’s a damn liberating and abundant place to be.
If you have some time as you go into 2020 I highly recommend finding a way to #slowthefuckdown (meditation, exercise, walk in nature, etc.) and reflect on what really fills you. Write it down. Be grateful for it. And begin breaking the brules and redefining what success looks like. It’s invigorating and opens up the chance to stop putting so much pressure on yourself to look a certain way and be a certain way and helps you move forward in a super intentional direction that is unique and perfect for you. 2020, HERE WE COME.